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Essay Help Please Any Corrections or Revisions are Appreciated?

Following the American Civil War came a self-reliant and inspiring Booker Taliaferro Washington an esteemed black educator who demanded civil reform with authority. Life was not simple for Booker T who from the minute of his birth on April 5, 1856, was brought in enslavement. Working in the burdensome salt furnace at the young age of ten with his father, while still attending school, his life had a tough schedule, which was lessened by his admission to the Hampton Institute, a school set up by rich whites to instruct newly freed slaves from the Civil War. There he worked as a janitor to pay for his school fee. Completing his time in Hampton in 1875, he was hired in the fall of 1879 to teach young Native Americans and to teach night classes for black men and women. He was well aware of the hardships face by the common black man Booker T taught black people how to economically better themselves to help raise the African community above their current status, his ideas proved to be very effective in helping the Post-Civil War African community grow and his beliefs still are present today. The Hampton Institute gave Booker T. the building blocks for his later endeavors. The curriculum was based on industrial arts and moral cultivation instead of intellectual pursuits, Booker T found his way around to better himself intellectually. In 1881 Booker T created the Industrial Tuskegee Institute in Alabama. Made from a worn down old church, came the leading educational center for blacks, who in the making created the Tuskegee Movement: a list of policies, views, and tactics that made Booker T. Washington the "the race leader" in dealing with the "Negro Problem". From his southern small-town headquarters he showered the nation with schools and newspapers, creating a means by which the African Population could free themselves of "Jim Crow's noose" and "Uncle Tom's iron-grip". He later established the National Negro Business League in 1901 which was created to "promote the commercial and financial development of the Negro". By himself, he was making a more self-confident, and more aware black man. Washington told blacks to just accept social segregation and focus more on trying to acquire better jobs and more education because it would be better for the community as a whole. His thoughts on race relations and his burgeoning influence white northern philanthropists and had great recognition among blacks. In a speech delivered in 1895, known as the Atlanta Compromise address, he voiced antidemocratic views and endorsed segregation. Booker T. Washington's engrossment on the issue of Negro denial to citizenship enlarged tension between black and whites and made Niagara Movement (1905-1909) and the NAACP. Both groups worked to relieve the Negro's difficulty, through civil rights, political rights, and anti-lynching campaigns. Even though Washington did not openly back them, he secretly fought against racial violence and Jim Crow laws by hiding blacks from lynching mobs and sending anonymous letters of protest. Booker T. Washington's motto was "work hard and acquire property" and whites will welcome you. By endorsing segregation and racial pride, he pleased whites and blacks. By gaining white recognition and international distinction he used these tools to help his master plan for black progress in a segregated harmony. The legacy of his philosophy still shows through his autobiography, Up From Slavery (1901),where he stood for economic self-reliance.

Public Comments

1. Following the American Civil War came a self-reliant and inspiring, Booker Taliaferro Washington, an esteemed black educator who demanded civil reform with authority. Life was not simple for Booker T who was a slave from the minute of his birth on April 5, 1856. He worked in the burdensome salt furnace at the young age of ten with his father, while still attending school. His life had a tough schedule, but things got a little easier with his admission to the Hampton Institute, a school set up by rich whites to instruct newly freed slaves from the Civil War. There, he worked as a janitor to pay for his school fee. Completing his time in Hampton in 1875, he was hired in the fall of 1879 to teach young Native Americans and to teach night classes for black men and women. He was well aware of the hardships face by the common black man. Booker T taught black people how to economically better themselves to help raise the African community above their current status. His ideas proved to be very effective in helping the Post-Civil War African community grow, and his beliefs still are present today. The Hampton Institute gave Booker T the building blocks for his later endeavors. The curriculum was based on industrial arts and moral cultivation instead of intellectual pursuits. Booker T found his way around to better himself intellectually. In 1881 Booker T created the Industrial Tuskegee Institute in Alabama. Made from a worn down old church, it became the leading educational center for blacks, who in the making of it, created the Tuskegee Movement: a list of policies, views, and tactics that made Booker T. Washington the "the race leader" in dealing with the "Negro Problem". From his southern small-town headquarters he showered the nation with schools and newspapers, creating a means by which the African Population could free themselves of "Jim Crow's noose" and "Uncle Tom's iron-grip". He later established the National Negro Business League in 1901, which was created to "promote the commercial and financial development of the Negro". By himself, he was making a more self-confident, and more aware black man. Ok, I can't do anything more for you because your second sentence in the next paragraph doesn't make any sense. I can't fix it because I haven't a clue what you mean. If you revise it in such a way that it can be understood, I'll come back and help you. I will say this tho - I've only been fixing your sentences. Your sentence placements above are still way out of wack. In the first paragraph you start talking about the Hampton Institute, then in the second paragraph you start talking about his accomplishments later in life (sounds like it should be in the conclusion) and then in the third paragraph, you come back to the Hampton Institute. You need to separate your thoughts with the paragraphs - one thought per paragraph. And I'm sorry if I sound rude, I don't mean to be and I don't know your age, but you really need to work on your punctuation. Your use of the comma and period (and sometimes lack thereof) is just atrocious.
2. First of all you don't have a clear thesis. What is it you are trying to tell the reader? What about Booker is important? Why is it important? Second, what are your sources? How do you know where or when he went to school or where he worked? Your introductory paragraph has too much information in it -- the first paragraph should be broad leaving the details for the paragraphs talking about each of your points. For example, if you are going to talk about his education in the paper you need a whole paragraph talking about his education and how he paid for school should be in that paragraph not the introductory. Basically your paper should flow like this: Intro paragraph: Here is where you tell the reader what you are going to be talking to them about. You need a thesis statement-- it doesn't necessarily have to be the last sentence of this paragraph but it generally is. Your thesis should sum up your argument (I am not clear what your point is here so I can't help more with that). This is what you need to work on most because it will help you orgnaize your paper. What is it you are trying to convey to the reader about Washington? What do you want the reader to know about the man when they are done reading your paper? That despite having so much going against him, Booker managed to succeed because he did point A, point B, point C and so on. Now in the following paragraphs you elaborate on points A- C or whatever and put those details in the corresponding paragraphs. (With thir sources!) For example paragraph 1 could talk about being a black man post-civil war, 2 can talk about school and 3 his career. Whatever the 3 points you are using to prove your argument that Booker was ________. Your concluding paragraph is almost the same as the intro, you re-summarize for the reader what you told them and what your intent of the paper was. You really need to look at writing papers as an argument. Where your paper is taking a side and proving a point. Booker T. was a great man despite having a hard life/being born in a bad time to be a black man....whatever you are trying to convince the reader. I think if you sit down and decide what you are arguing first the rest will flow a lot better. As it stands now you seem to be just throwing facts out there for no reason.